Sometimes I wish that Hotaru could understand why – about everything.
I narrow my eyes to the sunlight cutting into the room between the blinds. Everything feels soft right now against my bed, and, for the first time in a long time, I feel abnormally safe.
I know I shouldn’t check my phone, but I do it anyway.
“How far have you gone?”
“What does she taste like?”
“I would love to experience both of you.”
“I’m guessing you’re the top?”
It has been three days since Hotaru proclaimed her love for me – and three days since I started ignoring Fujiwara. The first day started with a lot of threats and questions. The second and third are much more sexually charged.
I close my eyes. My mind wanders. I’m mouthing the words Hotaru might say to Fujiwara – if they were going to fuck. I lay my arm over my eyes, grinning.
He’s violent – obviously. Having sex with someone you don’t love can be a great pleasure in life. Fujiwara never worried about who I am or how I felt, only how to peruse the fastest way to come. When I called him over, sometimes he would press my knees to chest, slamming downward so quickly I forgot to breathe.
My back is arching off of the bed now. I need it. My breathing leveled as I thought of Hotaru. I pulled my phone back up to my face to text Hotaru.
“Come over. Please. Door’s unlocked.”
I ran to the door to unlock it, then jumped back onto my bed. I was tearing at myself. The pants, the shirt, the socks – everything was falling to the floor. I arched my back again and let my hand run over my clit.
I bit a mouthful of my sheets, running my fingers in circles around my clit. Hotaru could put her mouth there. Hotaru could put her mouth anywhere she wants. I gulped loudly. My free hand ran along the side of my bed to the drawer beneath it. A glass dildo, pink and nearly shining in the strips of light, I brought between my legs.
It was freezing as it caressed my clit. I rubbed it on my lips to my opening until it was warm and slick, then buried it inside of myself. I could’ve screamed right there, my right hand still running circles. I squealed with pleasure around the sheet in my mouth.
I want it harder.
I groaned before I heard the door slam. I gently relinquished the sheet from my teeth and looked across the room.
Hotaru stood staring. Her eyes following my hands to the dildo.
“I was scared you were hurt!” She started, her eyes nearly crying. “Is this what you needed?” She sat down on the bed near my legs, wiping her eyes. “Don’t make me feel that worried again.”
I could hardly breathe. “Yes-s, yes Hota..”
Her eyes changed. She looked straight between my legs – for the first time, I felt self-conscious.
I closed them up quickly.
“You love sex, don’t you?”
I stared at her. No one had ever said that so blatantly before.
“I guess so? I have used sex in a lot of ways.”
“What does it feel like.” It wasn’t a question. She was still staring at the knobbed end of the dildo sticking straight out of me. I flushed.
“Full. Harsh. It makes me cum.”
Hotaru reached her right hand between my ribs. I held my breath. She slid downward, over my tummy, over my hips, inches from my lips. I almost bucked.
“Can I touch you?”
I started breathing again. No one had ever asked to touch me.
I just nodded.
Her small fingers brushed mine away from the dildo, grabbing the end of it. I blushed again – did she understand it was double-ended?
She paused for a moment, and I could feel the heat from her hand so close my most sensitive parts. I laid back. It came as a surprise when I felt the glass tug inside of myself. I jumped at first.
“Are you okay?” I nodded. She pulled it out far, studying the length outside of my body. She scooted closer, grabbing my left leg and hoisting it into the air. My eyes widened. She gave the glass a gentle but sure shove, and I bit my lip. She pulled it out again and started a rhythm.
Harder… God, I need it… “Harder…” I whispered. My eyes shot open had she heard me?
She stopped. She pulled her dress over her head, taking her bra off as well. Her body hovered over mine.
“Harder?” She looked ferocious. Her hand grabbed the end again and she started thrusting. She was breathing into my chest lightly. “I read if I lift your hips up I can hit your g-spot.” I was baffled. She had… read about having sex.
Her free arm went under my hips, hoisting me up a few inches. I could have cried. Both of my hands were on her shoulders, bracing myself. I could feel the glass grazing my g-spot. I laid there, complacent to her movement, rushing towards near-orgasm.
“I can’t come like this!” I almost cried out. “I need… I need something on my clit.”
She didn’t stop. Her head lifted up to where I could feel her hair run along my stomach. Her eyes were dark, and her mouth partially open in lust. She slid down quickly.
I didn’t calculate it until it was too late. Her wet mouth was on my clit and I nearly screamed. The probing inside of me rushed me into bliss. I squirmed, feeling the tickling feeling run up my legs to my clit.
I was coming in my girlfriend’s mouth.